How are things going? How is Ella doing? Ella’s good now, right? We get these questions all the time. Even now – almost two years after our world was turned upside down. While we love that she continues to be on people’s minds-sometimes it is difficult to explain just how she is doing now. If you were to see her run past you, you would think-wow, she is amazing, and she is completely fine! And while she is amazing, if you were to spend time with her daily-you would see a very different picture. Take this morning for instance, I told Ella to go into the utility room and get a pair of her pants that were hanging on the rack. I stood watching from a distance. She ran in, looked back and forth, yelled that she didn’t see them, and after I slowly said “Ella, look to your left, “she finally managed to focus in on the pants that were right in front of her. Take another common occurrence around our house-she will walk into a room where I am sitting, look straight at me and say, “Where’s mom?” I have often gone to her school, walked down the hall and met her class coming from the other direction. I will see her and then her friends will see me, come running, while Ella continues on, unaware that I am even around until one of her friends tell her. Those moments rip my heart out. Those moments make me want to figure out a way to turn back time and relive that day all over again-making sure I did everything different so the outcome could not in any way be the same. However, I know that is impossible and so we keep pushing forward. And when people ask how Ella is, more often than not, I am just going to say great. Great, except for the fact that she still isn’t reading because she can’t see her textbooks, still has to have therapy three times a week to work on her vision, balance, and coordination, still writes like a kindergartner in 3rd grade.
Even still, Ella is amazing. She has an amazing spirit. I am melted every time I hear that deep belly laugh that she has had since she was little. She can repeat anything she hears verbatim if she needs to. She made Honor Roll last semester and when she walked across the gym to receive her award – it was hard for me to contain the tears – she was never supposed to walk again, talk again, never supposed to live. SHE IS A WALKING, TALKING MIRACLE!
When the RUN FOR ELLA began, we were in Atlanta. We knew the event was being planned, but we were so consumed with Ella’s recovery that we just basically knew to show up on this date. I remember getting up and heading out that morning. Ella was walking with assistance-she had come so far. When we arrived, I couldn’t believe the number of cars and people. It was amazing! It was amazing to see all the support and love for our little girl. She was still a bit timid, not seeing well but excited at the prospect of seeing friends. I know that she had no clue of the lengths that people had gone to make the day a success. But, we did. It was amazing. I truly cannot express our gratitude. Every time I think of those dark days, I am still lifted up by the support and prayers given – often by people who had no clue who Ella was.
In the past two years, I will be honest. I have struggled a bit at times coming to terms with Ella’s accident. I have always considered myself a faithful person, but it is very difficult to understand why God would allow such a horrible thing to happen to a little girl with her whole life ahead of her. Why did she get picked? Often people would say to me, “There will be some good come from this, some blessings.” This was a difficult pill to swallow for me. What good could possibly outweigh this bad-this struggle that has often felt like a giant wave which has all but succumbed our entire family at times? So I waited, impatiently, for good, for a blessing. I knew we were blessed to have all the support and prayers. I knew we were blessed to still have Ella, but I wanted Ella back the exact same way Ella was on April 17th….just as I assume any parent would.
A couple of weeks ago after a devotional group with several ladies from my church, I realized several things. First, I have been blessed beyond measure-perhaps not in the exact way I would have preferred, but blessed. Blessings do not always come wrapped perfectly. Second, why am I waiting on Ella’s accident to become a blessing? Why not make it a blessing by stopping the pity party and blessing someone else? Remember the saying, “Because I have been given much, I too must give.”
Last year, an amazing group of people came forward and took the Run for Ella event and for lack of a better term, ran with it. Another child had been hurt in an unfortunate accident, and her family found themselves in need of the same support we had needed just a year before. Unfortunately, I had a small baby and we did not get to assist as much as we would have liked. However, when discussing the event with a friend this year, I told her that we really wanted to help out in some way. It was determined early on that the Run for Ella would be an annual event, and I wanted Ella and our family to have an opportunity to give back, to help others as she had been helped. So this year, all the cards fell into place and we are going to help with the event. The 3rd Annual Run for Ella, will be on May 7th, 2011 with the mission of “helping children and families cope with life changing events.”
Recently, I spoke on the 107.5 River of Hope Radiothon for Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital, and they asked me what I would say to other parents, who might be listening and considering donating. I said that I never expected this to happen to us. You hear about tragedies, but they just don’t happen to you, not your child…..only someone else’s. And, then we became the family everyone was talking about. We became the tragedy. It happened to us. It can happen to anybody, and I hope that the Run for Ella can be utilized to help assist those people who find themselves in that position, the one that they never thought would happen.
Our goal is to set up a fund that will be able to assist in times of need. To provide gifts to families that are struggling through situations that they never dreamed could happen. In addition, this year, a portion of the funds will be donated in memory of Edward Ellis. The funds will be used to set up a scholarship fund in honor of this sweet boy that was taken too soon.
Please consider taking part of this event! It has already done so much to assist families in need. Be the blessing….don’t wait for it!
Thanks from the Sara Brown & Famly
